Raising Children

In the last two days, a series of events have happened which have led me to think hard about the way children are raised. I believe the first 10 years of a child's life are the most fundamental and critical both in physical, mental and emotional development. During these years, a child learns how to deal with positive emotions such as joy and happiness as well as negative emotions such as anger, sadness etc. If a child'd first response to an emotion is a negative one, this behavior will carry on until they are an adult. For example, when angry for the first time, if a child starts yelling or slamming doors, they will probably carry on that learned behavior until they are much older.

Now, my siblings destroyed something which was very expensive and dear to me. The normal reaction to such an event would be rage and anger but i realized that they are young...One of my siblings could care less while the other kinda cares, but not really. I'm scratching my head like huhhhhh? Then i talked to one of the about it and she rolled her eyes and walked the other way. I wasn't having that! I won't discuss how i dealt with that here but for the first time, i felt a feeling which i couldn't describe. I felt a sense of pity as i realized that there is going to be a clear difference between myself and my siblings in how we were raised. I realize that they will never have that respect that i have for people older than me and will always see everyone as their equal. Sad, sad, sad..

I was raised in an African household with African beliefs and cultures. I was also raised in a country where most kids are raised in a similar fashion according to their cultural practices. I was raised to ALWAYS respect my elders, NEVER talk back when being scolded at, excel in school and be handy at home. And yes, my behind would get thrashed if i did something to piss my mother off. This is by no means a bad thing. Infact, it is a GREAT thing. At the time, i didn't appreciate my upbringing because i was like Wtf, why can't i go play with my friends? instead i have to be here in this damn kitchen. lol. It was annoying at times but i am extremely grateful now. I started to appreciate my upbringing when i moved to America. I realized that i was way more mature and responsible than 90 percent of my peers.

As a child, you don't have a voice because what the hell are you trying to say? you don't know anything! it baffles me when i scold at my siblings and they talk back! Or even worse, when my younger sister actually argues with my parents like it's one of her classmates...wow! Yes, i was once in their place and i know what it feels like to want to yell right back as your mom yells at you but out of RESPECT and a little fear, lol, you don''t say a damn thing! If a child is continuously allowed to talk back to elders, they will only carry on this nasty and rude behavior to adulthood and will be the one to curse out the professor in a class or be the one to be unruly in public.

I've had the privilege of growing up in one culture and living in another so i can kinda compare the two and the way i was raised compared to how kids are raised in this country...there's no price tag for that. If i one day have kids, i will raise them just as i was raised. After all, the bible says something about not sparing the rod will spoil the child.

this is kinda boring but whatever!

peace/love