This week, the theme of "love" has been re-occurring a lot in my life. Ever since i can remember, i've always asked the question "what is love?" i don't think i have ever come to an answer. I know that the love i have for my mother and my family is pure and untainted. I know i would give my life for them without hesitation but should this love i feel for my family that is so strong be the same kind of love i feel for a significant other? I don't know the answer to that. How do you know when you love someone? Do you only realize your true feelings when they are no longer in your life?
In terms of a significant other, I haven't had much experience in this area. I am not sure what it means to be inlove or to love. This topic has confused me and still confuses me to this day. A lot of people mistake infatuation for love. Those are two completely separate things. I've heard people say "I can't get him out of my mind and i need to be around him all the time so that means i love him". This is called infatuation. The dictionary defines infatuation as "A foolish, unreasoning, or extravagant passion or attraction". I couldn't have said it any better. Many people think this is love. I blame the media.
When you are with someone for a period of time, and you lose them, it hurts. Does the amount of pain you feel relate to the amount of love you had for this person? And does it mean you were in love if you feel pain after you no longer have this person in your life? I have no idea. I hear from friends who are in love..they describe it in different ways. They say things like euphoria, a feeling like no other, waking up happy everyday, completion etc. Sometimes i wonder if that is how it really feels or if they are just media-washed. I have heard different sayings on love like "love is a blessing and a curse" and "love is a double edged sword" because love has its rewards and its drawbacks but i don't know how true these sayings are. Should there be any drawbacks to love? I was in a relationship with someone and when that relationship was over, i felt an indescribable pain. A pain i thought i would never feel. A pain i thought would never go away but as they say, what doesn't kill you will make you stronger. Because of that relationship, i've questioned myself a lot on if i loved this person because if i didn't, it wouldn't hurt when the relationship was over. It took me a long time to come to terms with how i truly felt about this person and that's because prior to this relationship, i had no experience on dealing with those type of feelings.I've also questioned myself on if any of it was real and decided to come up with my own definition of love.
To me, love is a feeling you have for another individual. This feeling is one which makes you happy, comfortable and free. It's a feeling that makes you want to be better. You put this person's needs or wants before yours. A feeling which is reciprocated. Your care and compassion towards this person is above and beyond. You are willing to do whatever, whenever for them. You adore this them. You don't have to be attracted to them, but you certainly admire them. A friend made me realize that most importantly of all, love is everlasting. Love is not something that should die just because you came out of a relationship with someone. Real love is something that stands the test of time and no matter what happens, if the earth turns upside down and the earth becomes the sky, you are still able to love this person. No matter what they do to you, hurt you repeatedly or whatever else, you still care about them from a distance. Losing someone should not be a be-all, all-end all type of affair because love is always there. It never really goes away. You may lose someone and move on with your life and find love again with someone else but you still care about the first person you shared that emotion with. You may not love them anymore with all your might but you still care. When a couple who claimed to be in love fall out of love and stop all forms of communication with each other and start to hate each other, i don't understand it. If you say you loved someone so much 6 months ago, why are you not speaking to them now?
The older i get, the more complicated people make this love thing sound. People make it difficult to love and to stay in love because a lot of people carry baggage and issues, but that's another blog post lol. To make a long story short, I'm still not sure what love exactly is. I believe i have loved to a certain degree but i don't think it was the perfect kind of love i described above. Is there such a thing? I guess i can say i am lost in love. The answer to the question of if i will ever find such a love in this lifetime remains a mystery lol but i hope you find it. And when you do, let me know!
peace&l.o.v.e
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
I will let you know ooo dont worry!...lol! But sometimes I think that people dont talk after a break up not because they don't love the person but because it hurts soo much to talk to them knowing how much love you had had for them and also knowing that it will never be the same again. I think for some its easier to move on that way. I do think that the way you described love is accurate but sometimes love isnt always a mutual thing. Some people love those who cannot stand them but does that make it any less love cos its not mutual? Thats just the way I see it. My hopes and dreams in life is to be with someone who does not take my love for granted, who is appreciative of my extension of affection towards them and who gives love back to me in a capacity that is maximum to their abilities even though my love for them may surpass their love for me. But again, I can't say that I have been heartbroken before so when I/if I find out what that feels like I will come back to this and see if its a judge of how much I really loved them.
ReplyDeleteLove is simply a matter of perception. As you've learned taking multiple courses in science, you know that all the colors that we see are a matter of how light is reflected into our eyes. That is why in darkness we see no color, due to the absence of light.
ReplyDeleteLove in itself is an illusion, an essential illusion that is much more important than the illusion of lights and colors. It is something that we cannot live without, thus when people feel they don't have it, they see no use to live.
You are specifically talking about love as in a romantic bond with a man (I hope), and like any illusion, can be deciphered in many ways. As with sight, which I have already explained is an illusion, those who suffer a decay in various parts of the eye, or suffer from some form of damage to the brain, can possibly suffer from errors in their perception, whereby the illusions they see are separate from the ones people normally see.
Love is sort of the same way, because unlike sight, where only the eyes and mind are involved in the illusion, love involves the entire body, spirit and soul of an individual. That being the case, one's body, soul and spirit must be in order to perceive the true illusion of what love is. Those who are damaged in any of those areas will always see an errant illusion and think it is love, they will however be, highly mistaken.
I realize when we continue to try to define what love is we only continue to confuse ourselves with what media shows and what we see around us. Your love for each person will be defined differently whether its your mother, father, brother, sister or even potential husband. To me, that is what makes it special. We define it and its unique in its own way. If you truly want to "define" love, theres always the dictionary lol. but if you want to "define" it for Nguenbad, let it come to you so you can be the one to define it with your own unique definition.
ReplyDeleteSigning out,
Christine aka Louis